In the Haze of Ebb and Flow

Sitting here, in my dreadfully boring Community Psychology class, still wondering what Community Psychology is, due to my Professor’s lack of teaching skills, none of us know what he is talking about.  Normally, with normal non-crazy people, an event or something would have triggered such a blanket of sadness.  But with me, since I am crazy, a rush of melancholy can wash over me and I’m stuck on a tiny island that is giving me a wedgie because it is the only way I can avoid drowning is to sit on the island.  Sitting on something too small, plus a big butt equals a wedgie and a feeling of awkwardness all the time.

It has been several months since I have felt this way. Trapped in a tiny island, floating in the middle of an ocean that is draining me of my happiness.  I know I’ll drift back to the main land soon, but when will that be?

This ebb away from joy is hurting me so much.  I can’t be there for those I love so I would have to go through the motions, acting like a woman whose only job is a fill in.  "The person or thing you wanted can’t be here now, but I’ll be here until you get back.  When they do, you won’t need me then.  I’ll go fill in for someone else."

I want to crash back into my happiness.  So I can be a Suga bear, Mistress, bestie and friend again.

But here?  Where I am now, I am only a fill in for all of that.  Doomed to be controlled by the ebb and flow of my own mind.  When can I break free? Can I break free?  How will I be different if I am free of this horrid cycle?

Back and forth, between the two
Take the pills, you’ll feel better
Boo Hoo!
You’re not better?
Just wetter?  Due to Tears?
Lies! You’ll be fine.
Just take the pills
Rock to sleep, In the ebb and flow
You’ll be mine…..


7 thoughts on “In the Haze of Ebb and Flow

  1. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and
    was curious what all is required to get set up?
    I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty
    penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% sure. Any suggestions or advice would be
    greatly appreciated. Many thanks


    1. With WordPress you can start a blog for free and see if it is something you really want to do. I started mine because I didn’t see content that I felt spoke to me and others like me. WordPress does offer different packages depending on what you plan to use your blog for. They start out with low prices and get higher when using them fore businesses.


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